Sometimes it lasts in love
but sometimes it hurts instead
Sometimes it lasts in love
In less than 24 hours, I will be sitting inside our operations manager’s office probably with shaking hands and feet, for an interview. Is it for a promotion? Well, not exactly, but this move will hopefully give me a better chance at the job position that I am aiming for.
It could by my introversion, but I think I am generally a lazy person. If I had to choose, I’d rather have a job that pays me just enough to live comfortably, than to climb up the highest rank and live in luxury, if it meant more responsibilities (and more socializing — yikes). However, once in a blue moon I get hit by inspiration and actually find something worth my time and energy. The thing is, since I mostly prefer to be in the background, whenever I finally want to step up and take part, nobody thinks of me as a qualified person.
I am always the underdog, but in cases like this when I really want something, the questioning look on people’s faces fuel me into proving them that I can be worth something. It had happened before, and looking back, the desire to feel validated helped me in actually succeeding and being recognized.
Today, I am breaking out of my shell again.
Perfectly describes how I am feeling right now.
“You will be shocked, kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That’s why when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.”
—Ted Mosby,HIMYM S09E21 (via theurbanhistorian)
Naaawa ako dun sa may-ari ng katabing locker ko sa office. Tumunog yung cellphone nya at ang ringtone nya ay napakalupit na, "where do broken hearts goooo?"
Place of solace
At some point I thought this Tumblr blog was ‘too public’ and I created a new one — a blog that can only be viewed by people I actually knew IRL.
It was fine until I broke my heart again.
There are several reasons why, right now, I refuse to share my heart issues with friends. It’s the holiday season and everyone is still in the mood to celebrate; I doubt if they would appreciate someone whose intention is to darken their mood with her petty love problems. Aside from that, I find it difficult to open up to people. Sometimes I feel as if I’m being a nuisance to them, and so I just keep my thoughts locked up in my head… but the main reason why I refuse to talk about it is because, honestly, I really don’t know what to say. How do you translate pain into words?
No matter how much I deny it, the truth is, my heart is wounded. I hate him for leading me on, for making me believe that there is something to hold on to. I hate myself for believing him. For months I thought there was something special. I want to put the blame on him so I can have something to hate, but no matter how much I try, I eventually forgive him in my head and channel all the hate to myself. Was I desperate, or was he really an asshole for making me feel extra special and then leaving me in the end?
Why do I find myself returning to this blog whenever my heart gets all torn up? Is it the ‘anonymity’ that draws me into pouring my heart out, knowing that I can continue facing the real world with a smile still plastered on my face?
*aggressively collects money in a video game*
*never buys anything with it*
Jason Mraz - Be Honest (by ProfessorSong)
Think of this song as a promise you can do what you want,
If you decide you wanna move into a new stage,
Deleting me from pages in your mission statement,
My love is unconditional, make no mistake,
I don’t ask for much, just be honest, with me :)